I AM SICKKKKKK.

WTH SICK ON WEEKENDS WTHWTHWTH FUCKER. CANNOT WAIT UNTIL MONDAY IS ITTTTT?

Despite having a fever I went to work today (because sooo lazy to get an mc), after work I went to cityhall with Kelvin to find a dry box for my dslr, yo. It was too expensive so we were looking(quite depressingly) for some silica gel and a bloody airtight container. I was sick and coughing, and in a daze, like sick people always are, and my friend was being all sleepy and manly bitchy. LOL.

And why am I documenting my seemingly interesting day? Haha. Oh no I've turned into the average boring blogger.

The good thing about ITP is that I've started to read the newspaper everyday (to kill time) and I find myself smarter. I can go out and like say, 'did you read this article about...'
And if my friend says no, I smartly go on like, 'Oh it was about this median child...'
And I proceed to giving statistics like, 'The average student can only score a maximum of 70% and the other 30% of the marks are meant for the 'above average' '

If you can't say that's smart, then what is. Teeheheheee.

OKAY, regarding that article about the 'median student', it's so true. What the writer says about what actually is stressing people like me are the 'gifted students'. The writer then proceeds telling us about how hard it is for a median student to keep her head above water, and everyone's competing and it's so unfair (okay I had to put that in) that a median student has to perform with the above average student and no matter how hard we try, how hard we study and do our best, IT'S NEVER GOOD ENOUGH.

YES, the plight of a median student. Even in poly, I'm trying to keep my head over water. My nose has submerged and now I have to breathe through my eyes. Okay the writer also says that parents of a median child should just support their children and encourage them to be better.

At this point I almost screamed, 'LOOK AT THIS MUM!'

Being a median child SUCKS. My cousins and sisters have all set the bar. I used to think that one day I might just be like my cousins, and my younger sisters would like look at me in awe and talk proudly about how her sister's in this bloody good jc. When I was 16 I was supposed to set the bar. But NO, fuck, rafhana the median child has to like kick herself into someplace with no future. MEDIAN I TELL YOU, MEDIAN! You have no idea being in this place seems to be like a plague to the family. So a median student can be exceptional if she studies hard and does her best right? No it's not good enough. I wish I could say that yes probably there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me, and I wouldn't feel like I'm splashing in this lake of uncertainty not knowing what failing to obtain a degree would do to my life. Being here feels like my whole future has been robbed from me. I feel inferior.
Like I'd never be good enough to get a degree. Like probably I should just stay here and rot in a 9-5 job.

I want to be a journalist. HAHA, laugh now. I don't even know how I'm going to do it. I feel like I've screwed all my chances of being someone, anyone. Why did I even take mechanical engineering. Why did I screw up my english and not land myself in some mass comm. This is depressing.

On the brightside, I've met the most beautiful people landing myself in a place with no certainty. Kelvin's probably right. 'If you didn't take this then you probably wouldn't have met me.'

And that, I have to agree with whole heartedly.

Labels: depressing, friends, i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sad, school, sickly talk