HEHEHEHEHEHE.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!
tehehehehehehehehe!

(just so you know the next paragraph is NOT related to the top..)

At this point of time, I am REALLY worried. I want to go to UNI. I am far from 3.5 or the 3.9999999 dream. I don't want a crap job, I don't want to end up like those people I see in my office everyday. Reading the article in Straits Times scared me. You need GOOD GRADES, VOLUNTEER WORK, COMPETITIVE SPORTS, LEADERSHIP POSITIONS.
So far, I have none of those. Okay, I have leadership positions in secondary school, I have certificates for my services to the school. But in poly I am pretty much a nobody. Besides having attended GYL twice, and making it to commitee in my 2nd year, I have absolutely no leadership positions. Talk about regrets. I SHOULD'VE stuck to the clubs I joined and fought for the leadership positions. Where am I now? In floorball with no absolute future. What will I do now? AHH why did I not think about this in Year One? My ass is fired.
WORK HARDER. I need a new technique. I must learn how to balance. Allocate hours. If trainings, whatever whatever eats into my timetable then fuck it. The goal is more important. My ass is more important. This is about fighting for my place. Since young I had this vision in mind, I MUST get it. I WANT it as badly as other people.

I have to try both. It's right what he said. I've always thought I would have to be born to do something, and no one can have both. I have my art, then this. I want both. If one thing doesnt work out then I have the other. I just don't want to live with the regret that I gave up one because I thought I'm too stupid to do it. I'm going to listen to my lecturers. One of them told me, 'You are intelligent, but lazy.' I will stop being lazy. I will concentrate, I will pay attention. It's not about living the moment and deciding things on a whim. The future is so much BIGGER.

To get my dream, I have to work hard for it. Shit. I am so scared.