I am so stoned right now. So desperate. So needy. I just need to get 'okay' by tommorow so I don't feel like I'm falling into the train tracks. I took every single medicine that hasn't expired in the medicine box.

Great. Fucking great. I just recovered a week ago, then I get sick again. My immunity has reached fucking zero. I might as well have Aids. It's worrying. Because it might be dengue again. I survived dengue once. Next time I get it, I will die. Mother is afraid I might have Tuberculosis. Well because of the night sweats and the cough. I'm sure its nothing. Dengue just robbed me of my healthy life.

Just a few things that you probably don't know about me :

- I have frequent panic attacks.

- I have Depersonalization Disorder. It happens usually when there are a lot of people around me, and I get scared and stressed. Usually when this happens I try to tell the person I am with, but no one understands me. I say, 'I'm not real. I don't feel real.' And I tell them I'm dreaming, but no one believes me. I hate when this happens. That is why I avoid going out as much as I can, and avoiding people. It's a terrible thing.

- I am Schizotypal.

- I have Social Phobia. I almost never eat in public. And if you've noticed, I'm always telling you that people are looking at me.


Happy being scared of me. Now my ex-friend and you, know.

Labels: depressing, mental disorders, sickly talk