I felt so nostalgic so I decided to look through the Cedar yearbooks. I felt sick after that. Sick with longing, sick with love. Alas, I realised that I've grown up. I wish I was there. As relived as I felt to have graduate, I wish I could go back. I wish I could see my favourite Physics teacher, I wish I could have the scent of the school office and the dusty conrol room, I wish I still wore my uniform.

When I feel terribly attached to something and the sense of hopelessness creeps in, I get sick. My breath becomes heavy, I'm close to having a panic attack. And then I would have to calm myself down, try to breathe, try to grow up.

And god damn it, I WAS FUCKING PRETTY IN SEC 4.

My sec 2 life was the best, having the best friend, and dancing in NDP, seeing Peter Gn. Secondary 3 was spectacular - I was very good in Physics, and I found new friends. Secondary 4 was .. meh. But I was fucking pretty in May, so I don't care. It's my motivation now- to look that good.

I really want to visit Cedar since it'll be the LAST year it'll look the same since I graduated. But I don't have many friends there, and they're all so busy with school and stuff. I don't think I could ever go back aloneee. I really really really want to go back to Cedarrrrr! *coughs* READ THIS TIARA *coughs*

I'm going to scan my pictures hahahahaha. Just to prove to you I was pretty. LOL.

I actually regretted hating my Cedar years so violently. But I was too depressed at that time, I wasn't thinking properly. I wish I actually dressed up better for Prom Night, kept to my weight, never cut my hair the day before graduation day. Damn you fucking mental illness. I would've been as happy as my friends back then.

Most of all, I fucking miss SYFC!

Labels: cedar, depressing, school