Man's idea of success is fame, glory, and recognition. We want to be appreciated and to be known, or else we go home as a loser, a total fucking zero. And I ask myself the same question again and again, 'What is it that I do that is not enough? Can they not see me? Can you not even say a single word like 'Beautiful' or two words like 'good job'?' Ultimately the reason why I still stick to traditional art because that is what I'm good at and what I really enjoy doing. What is it about pleasing people, hoping someday the least a friend could say is 'well done'? Oh, the twisted world we live in. I wish I could say I don't crave to be appreciated. I do a better job and work hard. I've seen works where the artist's perception is terrible, his/her art lacking emotion and they get a million comments and page views per day. It seems fair that the flaunting and promoting work were harder than the art itself.

But at the end of the day, when I'm done with something, whether the outcome was terrible or 'okay', I would give myself a pat on the back and thank myself for putting up with the hours of total hard work. However, that isn't success. Success isn't finishing a piece. Success is when people take time to look at it.

Speculations from close friends about my warped idea of success like every other man, is that, my parents never gave me praise or a pat on the back. Everything wasn't good enough. In turn, I turn into a fame crazy monster. My only objective in life is to be famous- be it notorious for something bad or recognised for something courageous.

This got me thinking. How self-consumed and lacking in gratitude have I become? Am I not one of 'them' now?

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/54459293/

Such a beautiful picture, such a pretty face, such a happy child. There are people in the world who don't have means to eat three times a day. There are people who are just known as 'farmers', 'housewife', 'bride', and have been forgotten by the world. There are people who would be delighted with only corn served for dinner. And seeing that- a child with such innocence, and the life she had ever known is hardship, the dirt so natural on her pure face, has me weeping with grief. Because I know, in my lifetime battling with myself, I will never be as strong as that child will. I don't know what happiness is, in its purest form. I don't know how dirt on the cobblestones would make me smile. If I lived in poverty, I wouldn't even know how to smile.

So, success; is it fame, or is it being able to be happy for what we already have? So do we live like others, continue being mindless and vain? My heart aches with jealousy. I have things, though not much, but at least I have things. I have a talent, yet I wished to God that I wanted more.

Why does hardship give its receiver such beautiful smiles? How does one find happiness in the bleakest of terrains? You know what happiness is when god picks you from the raging sea and gives you a flower. Happiness in the truest and purest form exists in hope, light and courage to live through hardships. Success is passing though obstacles and be happy that you survived.

Success is being able to appreciate yourself. That is success in its truest form.

Labels: deviantart, drawing, success