I woke up from a terrible dream. When I woke up I got disoriented and didn't know where I was, or the date, or the time. And the sense of hopelessness and despair just sank in. Like rock in quick sand.

I love standing in the rain. God is in the rain. I feel so detached from the world. When I'm walking in the rain it's so cold, like the weight of the world washing away from me, from my fingers, the tip of my nose, and my heart becoming emptier and devoid of feelings or emotions, or memory. When I'm standing in the rain, I'm free. So cold and alone; detached. No one could touch me or know what it's like inside of me. Waves of euphoria, waves of despondency, flowing into the drain and I'm completely free. If I could, I would stand there forever, wearing as little clothes as possible, and hope that I could die from the cold.

I've always wondered what it would feel like, being kissed in the rain.

Labels: dreams, pondering