Ultimately at the end of the day I have to realise that I alone can make myself happy and not other people. All this time I thought I was running away from myself by doing things to distract me. So I felt guilty and stopped doing the things that I liked, and sat down to face myself. I realised I couldn't control my emotions and I was crying every night. Then Faye told me that I wasn't running away from myself. I was just making myself happy. Oh how stupid. I shouldn't have stopped. Now it's very hard to snap out of this manic depressive state.

I don't even know why I'm feeling depressed. It used to be a lot worse because I was very very lonely. It's not so bad now because I have Kelvin Loh who constantly bombards me with smses that actually make my day. It's fascinating to have someone that actually cares about you okay. No one used to care about Ana actually. When she cries no one even bothers. So I guess I have Chee Sing to thank. I mean really. I'm unbearable to live with. And thing is sometimes you do things that you don't really think much about, but it means the world to another person. Yes Kelvin, this is one way you have touched my heart. Good morning messages followed by 'How are you feeling.'

And you're the first person I'm going to miss when I go to Hong Kong!

Alright people I'm flying off to chinesedisneyland bye!

Labels: friends, pondering, sad