I feel cold and alone. Maybe the world is really made up of lies. Maybe no one really cares. Maybe there's no one that actually wants to make you happy. Maybe no one loves you.

And all I can do now is to stare down at my hands and ask, 'what have I done? how did it ever amount to this?'

What if there is really no end to the rainbow? What if we're chasing something that is not even there? What if the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't exist? What if the white rabbit is just an imagination?

How do you stop yourself? How do you stop chasing the rainbow, how do you stop walking through the tunnel? I don't know what is at the end, but I've got to try. I've got to see if there is really a pot of gold, a ray of light, paradise or love. How could you stop halfway then sit where you're at and give up? What if I'm really chasing for something that I know in my heart exists? I've got to try, I've got to see, I've got to feel it, touch it, kiss it.

Of course sometimes what you had hoped to be there turned out to be something else, like a man eating monster, a pool of acid, or a heartbreaker. It'll gobble up your insides and hurt you, but at least now you can smile to yourself and say 'at least I've tried.'

I just don't want to leave everything hanging and never know the end. I don't want to stand here and regret that I've missed out on something beautiful because I'm scared.

No one lives with regrets for things they have done. You just learn from your mistakes, you live with experience, and you can walk through the rest of your life as a bigger person. Regrets only come when you realise that you've left things behind or didn't give somethings a chance.

How could giving things a chance hurt you? It can't. At least now you know.

Labels: dreams, loveee, pondering, sad