Sleep is useless. I never feel better whenever I wake up. I felt so listless and like ugh, just another day I’m going have to force myself to be happy. I SWEAR THIS IS PMS AND IT WILL NOT ENDURE. Listen to Faramir, ‘I do not believe this darkness will endure.’

(You know I should go back to being a geek watching Lord Of The Rings over and over again and memorizing the script, and believe that Lord Faramir will forever be the one for me.)

So I forced myself out of bed, went to Syiqah’s room, and started wailing. Like a mad dog. Apparently, everyone is too busy for me that I have to go and scream at my sister. Then I went out and started practicing my floorball passes rather angrily and I think the wall has some indentations and some paint off it. My mum’s going to freak but I don’t care. I was pretending the ball was my head and I was hitting it against the wall like PAK PAK PAK (wth, why pak?). Imagining self-harm oh god how retarded is that. My head’s in pretty nice shape and I don’t feel like I’m ready to disfigure it by hitting it against the wall. Then my sister kind of got fed up at me cause I was wailing so much so she would rather spend time with her angmoh friend more than me and then she wore her retarded clothes and left the house. Then I was alone in the house and started making an omelet for myself. Then I watched Debbie Travis and then I got a bit queasy because I was bored so I went to steal my estranged sister’s westlife cd from her room and played it on the retarded radio in the sitting room and blasted it as loud as I thought appropriate.

OH MY GOD, I have verbal diarrhea and god it feels so much better. And listening to Westlife makes me feel so much better. AHAHHA oh dear god, so primary school. And no one’s at home so I can sing like so fucking loudly and emo-ly.

‘I’ve been keeping it inside, feeling I could die. If you turn away, baby that’s okay, you can’t lose what you never hadddd. Ooooooooh…’

AHHHHH UHHHHHHHHHHHH WAAA WA WA WA EEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOW WAAAA.


Let's be boring and do this questionaire.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?

I have no goal in life so I don't know. If I can even find someone who wants to marry me then I'd be really lucky. Otherwise I'll just get married to myself or Faye cause she's lesbian and she's in love with me.

2. What I want the most now?

Time travel. So I could go back and warn myself not to do stupid things.

3. Do you believe of love at first sight?

No, I believe that that love at first sight is equivalent to infatuation and that'll be the shallowest degree of love you'll ever feel for a person.

4. Do you think u have enough confidence?

HAHA what do you think.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

That I'm going to be happy at the end of the day where ever god takes me. Things happen for a reason and I hope, hope, I'm going to be happy at the end of it all.

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

Now? No. Maybe. I don't know.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?

Losing the present. I'm afraid I'll never experience any of that again.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?

Yes. And you've got to fight for it.

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

yeah. Next question please.

10. What are the requirements that you wish from your the other half?

I don't know. I'll accept him wholly. If you set requirements you'll never meet your other half because people aren't perfect.

11. Which type of person do you hate the most?

Bimbotic bitchy women.

12. Do you cherish every single of your friendship?

Yes. They're so precious. I can't imagine waking up without them.

13. Do you believe in God?

Yeah.

14. What do you see in your future?

Running away, a train that never ends, a love that never exist... okay okay, truthfully, I'll be a damn good photographer.

15. Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend /girlfriend?

No. I'm happy with small things.

16. At this point of time, would you rather stay in your comfort zone or try something new?

try something new. break the momentum.

17. What kind of friend you hope to be in your friends eyes?

someone you can trust and tell everything to.

18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?

my clinginess to people. bad bad.

19. What's your weak point ?

heart. *tears* I'm a girl what do you expect.

20. What do you look forward to now?

Everything going back to normal.

Labels: annoying, blah, boys, depressing, i swear i'm trying to get better, listless, pms, sickly talk