I'm limping.

Oh dear god the bottom part of my calve(sp?) hurtssss. I dreamt I was running about the neighbourhood non-stop. When I woke up I was kind of exhausted in a good way so I didn't go out to run. Must be all the talk about block catching Kelvin told me about.

Kind of brings me back to what I did in my childhood. It's all grey and blur to me now. I didn't bring those parts of me along while growing up. I remember running up a hill behind our house and then racing to the top, and my sister would be too scared to climb up higher, but then I would run up and there was this huge rock at the top of the hill. I would climb on it and watch dragonflies flying around me and from up there you could see everything. Wow, if only I could go up there again and live the moments again like a child. I don't live there anymore, but occasionally I take the bus 911 and pass by that place and I see the greeny hill from a far and imagine what it would be like to roll down it.

When I was a child everyday seems to be so exciting because there were so many things to see, and to do- things like climbing up a level higher on the jungle gym, pulling down pants of my boy classmates at school and eating 'air batu'(those frozen juice thingy). Minus the hatred I had towards my grandmother and the fear of my mum, it was a good thing being alive.

I think I should be classy. My playlist is emo shit. Need things like au revoir simone or the weepies. Something like that. Imagine wearing a sheer white dress and holding a red balloon walking bare footed on miles and miles of nothing but grass and trees. And stepping on crunchy leaves of course, but then my feet would hurt.

Ahh, I think I should get girly clothes. Anyone anyone anyone?

Labels: blah, growing up, pondering