I have returned, feeling incredibly poorer even though the trip was a hundred percent subsidised by the commanding power, namely my kind parents. I am so glad to be sniffing and making sweet love to my bed again because the blood stained carpet and sheets at the hotel didn’t actually satisfy my oh so high standard of living. Amazingly, I managed to survive the trip with a few insect bites and a heavily infected face (pimples!), and oh yes, evil suffering and life changing experiences.

Of course by now you would have figured out that I am merely exaggerating (though I did feel much poorer and the room had blood everywhere! everywhere! It was as if someone had been murdered in our room!)
Malacca was immensely boring as I have been there like a million times in my lifetime (my mother’s whole tree line originated from Malacca, how I could not know the roots of my people.) I went because I wanted to experience the place as a ‘backpacker’ (oh how so!) and without easy means of transportation or parents.
Now I appreciate how hard it is to find halal food, even in Malacca. I did not predict going into a shop and asking whether the food was halal, in an Islamic country. What was sad is that I had to survive on crappy fast food. (Okay it was not crappy, but I wanted to express my unhappiness here.) Zingdo, instant noodles, Pizza Hut and finally some fish and sotong and belacan veggies. Okay, it was crappy.

I reached home last night with an ingestion, which I had to sleep through and severe diarrhea today. And I feel so terrible for having to skip floorball training!

Oh today was so dull. Apart from having to run to the toilet every now and then, I watched the last two episodes of Lost, and it left me in mortal peril because I can kill myself waiting for the new season.

Josh Holloway is so hot!

Henry Ian Cusick is disturbing sexy. I want to marry himm!!!

Labels: sickly talk, travelling

I'm just doing some last minute packing. Well tomorrow I'll be heading off to Malacca with Zaki and some of her friends. I really hope that everything's going to be okay. I want to have fun being away from the crazy life at home. Away from all the depressing things that have been pulling me down. So, passport's already in the bag, cash, a book to entertain me, and maybe a pencil and paper to keep me sane. Oh boy, what's bothering me a lot is that my laptop will be staying at home and I'll be away from youtube or myspace and I cannot listen to One Republic.

Oh, Merry Christmas. I've been occupied with Christmas movies the whole day.

I wish I could stay grateful, but memories aren't enough.

You've made me so happy.

Be back Friday.

Toodles.

Labels: depressing, i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sad

I hate my face. I hate my face. I hate my face.
I wish I could just rip it off and place a new one. a fucking pretty face.
I wish I wasn't fat.
I wish I was hot,
I wish I was perfect.
I wish I was everything else but me.
At the end of the day, personality isn't just everything.
The fact is that the whole world is shallow and you've got to suck it up and go along with the flow.

I'd give anything to live in a place where everyone has spotty skin, and people know how to enjoy life and grow fat.

Labels: i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sickly talk

It's official, folks. I have finished Nettie's homework and mine has been depressingly strewn into my thumbdrive. You're so going to get full marks! Haha, if you're reading this future Netgene, you owe me like a million venti coffees.

Labels: blah

Okay I am bored, so I guess I'll spend the time uploading pictures and describing the movie marathon I had at my house with some girlfriends.

This was on the day of APAC Australia A vs somecountrythatican'treallyremember. Sebok ah these girls. lol! I was sick so I skipped training. Anyway, my parents and two of my sisters when to Kuantan, Malaysia for 4 days, so me and syiqah pretty much had the house to ourselves. It was fun and I went home late almost everyday, trying to enjoy every wee bit of time without parents. It was a good life that lasted for less than a week, eating things out of the fridge, lots and lots of chicken, and getting the house really dirty like it's our place. Anyway, after the swensens appointment with the secondary school girls, me and syaza felt it wasn't enough. So you know, being a really kind soul *coughs* I sacrificed my house so that they could come over!

I really liked that only a handful of us came cause it makes my house a little cleaner! LOL! Felt so syfc and Izzah! haha. good old times! So the rules were simple: bring your own food! It's so budget la. But really awesome all the same. Those children went to banquet and didn't get me anything! haha possibly punishing me for fetching them late.

I was so glad to show the people that I love, my house and my room! Now they can imagine the state I'm living in, where I surf the net, where I lie paralysed with marshmellows in my mouth...


when they arrived, look at how happy Syaza and mai were!

Anyway, they treated my house as if it was a museum! Lol, snapping pictures and stuff. I didn't clean my room at all, so I like had to hide stuff here and there. Syaza stepped on some shower foam on my floor. eeee, sorry man!
chose cds and stuff. I totally went for 40 year old virgin.
to benefit those who have not seen my room:





hehe look at all the books that I actually OWN! and the cds and dvds. heheh.


This was what I meant my the museum thingy. Haha oh man, my guitar that I hardly use.


And you know they got so sebok and looked through my drawings, and took more pictures,

(I think I'm promoting my room too much here! hahahah sorry sorry!)


So we like watched P.S and 40yearoldvirgin. Both m18 stuff. P.S more like showed people having sex (but not much), and 40yearoldvirgin was more tits and my kind of stuff lololol. Welcome to my world people. HAHAH. Well it sucked when they had to go home. I was so bored and lonely and kind of got stoned by all the marshmellows. I wish my parents and sisters would like go on a holiday again so I could invite my girlfriends over!


All together.

Much loveeeeee. please come back again. I want to eat more marshmellows and wedges and watch horny movies.

Labels: cedar, friends, happy talk

Today was just one of the randomest days. Zaki suddenly asked me if I wanted to study. So travelled all the way to tampines to study mechanics. I wish I DID study a lot, travelling that far. Most of the time was spent worrying and whining about a certain someone very very dear to my heart *coughs* , eating chicken mcnuggets, and pathetically READING my mechanics notes.

But I had a hell of a time at Body Shop. Lol I had Zaki spray every part of her arm. I was so set on buying White Musk but I didn't like the smell that much. Yes, I cannot deny the sexual effects they have on men, however tempting and alluring it might be, but it's hardly me. Settled on the Strawberry Mist cause it's soooo fruity, so cute, so nice, so meeee! I can't stop smelling my own hand! hahah. If that wasn't enough, I also got the body butter, the scrubing thingy and a face wash. Spent 53 bucks. Omg, haha.
I have got to stop splurging my money like no one's business.

I do wish to have a very fulfilling holiday. I miss Nettie already.
10 more days to Malacca! haha yay. and i have no money. omg.

Syaza and twins, and Tiara(if you want), I want to go Seoul Garden! Lol.

Labels: random talk, whatever

I usually find it easier to shut up and not talk.

People who don't like me with justifiable reasons should burn in hell. Like, what the hell did I do? Have you even tried talking to me?
Bloody bastards.

I am so tired. Yet I refuse to sleep. Oooh, panda eyes.

You know I'm thinking of getting a haircut. I LOOOOVE my hair now. It's so long and pretty and girly. But but I've always wanted a spiky boy haircut since my cedar days. Haha, should I do that? People keep saying that it doesn't matter anyway because I wear a tudung. But hell it sure does matter. It's for personal reasons I shall not elaborate. Oooh, maybe I should get haircut like Halle Berry in Catwoman. Oh so sexy. so so so should I?

rahhhhhhh.

Zaki has plans on torturing me today. We're going on a 5km run. While the prospects of it is quite exciting because I expect some endorphins to be released, I can also say that it scares the shit out of me a little bit. I love running, but I haven't ran in a longggg time since my cedar days. Yes, occasionally I jog, but I can't last for more than 15 minutes. I am so dead meat.
This is where I say I wish Tiara could run with me. Haha that woman runs like whoahhhh you know.
I NEED TO LOSE SOME FUCKING BAGGAGE. I am so fat so fat so fat. My schedule last time was like 1 day P.E, two days intense TAF and even stayed back for the afternoon TAF after school, 1 day gym. That is like 4 freaking days of working out. That's enough to make me lose 7kilos in a month! Argh I hate leaving cedar. ahaha loserrrr. everyone's like hating leaving their JCs and I'm still attached to my old school. whatdoyouexpect, poly no P.E okay!
Ineedsomeonetokickmyfuckingassbecauseineedtoworkout. bleh. and the bandana, and long pants is like getting in the way. I seriously love my FBT Vshorts okay! grahhhhh.
okay okay rafhana getting a little too cranky already.

I need cereal.

I going to be tak tahu malu sikit and say that my FBT shorts are going to make a comeback.

in an all women's gym.
hahah.

Labels: annoying, cedar, fat, operation seth

I don't exactly have a word to describe how I am feeling like now. It's just one of the days I hyperventilate or get panic attacks. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. I ate lots of dark chocolate to calm myself.

It is just those days where you get excited turning on the computer and realise there's actually nothing for you to do, but to keep refreshing pages over and over again. No one actually wants to talk to you on msn, everyone is too busy leading their own lives, not caring a fuck whether you're okay. That's just life I suppose. It doesn't wait for you. The universe certainly doesn't care.

I feel so pumped to run or do something exciting. Unfortunately it's been raining like nobody's business.

It's NOT like I have NOTHING to write about. I sure have stuffs to say about my reunion with some friends and the movie marathon with girlfriends. But the mood sure isn't there to be all perky and happy when you're so emotionally drained. All I want to do is to fall into a deep slumber and not wake up. I've been sucking everyone else's energy today. I really feel like a big black hole. It sure sucks like fucking hell that I'm feeling everyone else's emotions at the end of the day. Oh all the negative energy around me. I wasn't even like sad to begin with. I was all perky all day long. Sigh.

Talking about the no mood part, yes I do owe Adam a detailed email. I love that boy so much and it sucks that I can't even bring myself to write a simple letter or send a card. Just thought it's been a while since we had a proper conversation on msn.

Meh.

Labels: depressing, i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sad, sickly talk, whatever

I am having withdrawal symptoms. Totally. 12-2?

The twins and syaza have just left. I feel so bored.
And this cough is seriously pissing me off.

I want to watch the apac finals tomorrow, but no one wants to go with me. How? Howwwwww. I hate being dependent and pathetic.

42.

Labels: 42, depressing, i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sad, smitten

oh my god, it was fantastic! I just came back from watching APAC.
I feel like a traitor, but heck, they're awesome and player 42 is totally hot. Australia won.

the match was like awesome. every moment you were like biting your lips cause it's full of suspense and everything. so much action, swift movements, speed... I am so motivated to play better.

I LOVE AUSSIE PLAYER 42! Like omg omgomg he's shortest among the other aussies and has the NICEST ASS, and he has curlyyyyyyy hairrrrrrrr! So hot so hot so hot. The whole time I was like, whispering, 'number 42!'

OMG I AM SOOOO SMITTEN!

smittensmittensmittensmittennnnnnnn. I cannot sleep tonight okay. He's so hot boom boom.

if anyone knows him, call me okay. haha.

Labels: floorball, smitten

To think I was getting all hyped up about it.

Geez.

Net, don't find a boyfriend and abandon me. I cherish our girly outings, really.

Labels: i'm sorry i can't be fucked

I hate inflammation of the lungs or something like that. My voice is so nasal and it doesn't make it sexy anymore.

My god, it's only Tuesday!


The more I blog the more uninteresting and unintelligent I become. I can't come up with anything hilarious anymore.

And I don't think I know what art really is. Or do I? I can completely understand why that I know nothing much about the artist's potrayal/whatever as I was hopeless at Lit in secondary school. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm really as shallow as I look.

Ahh, do more drawings, write more poetry. I need to get all that 'muse-y' stuffs back.

Is this a mid life crisis? haha.


I am finally sick. I'm having this really stupid cough and also running a fever! I think getting about 3-4 hours of sleep everyday (including weekends) for the past two weeks has contributed to my sickness. Sigh. My plan is to sleep for the whole of Sunday! Did I tell you that I ate FASTFOOD everyday? (I'm so fat!)

And why is this post completely dull!

They should probably call next week MST2. IA lab test, thermofluidsII theory, and maths. Sighhh. This means I have to study. Better start early. I'm aiming for a 3.99999999 gpa this year. But seeing my IA, CAM, thermo's test marks, I can confidently say that the 3.9999999 dream might be over.

I don't mean to sound like a prick, but I got 86 for mechanics! I'm so happy can.
Oh the good life. My parents don't care about the good marks I bring home. WELL TOO BAD. My sister might have 256 for the PSLE and everyone's all hoohaaa about it, but I'm going to work my arse off to bring home better results. Just wait and see. I'm going to screw their stereotyping. 'Ana's no good, she doesn't study, she brings home OK marks, and it's not good enough.'

I should log out before I get too angsty.

Nadya don't pangsei me okay. Must go gymmmm must must must! Look at me fats and flabbs.

Labels: fat, school, sickly talk