I have the fear of being boring (and no, I didn't make this fear up so I could have the same personality trait as Christian Bale.) And note: Boring is not equals to BORED if you haven't figured that out.

Well that explains why I'm always not keen on going home with someone, or I avoid taking the same train with my classmates ever so dearly. It's because I'm afraid I'll bore everyone, be it mumbling on something no one has an interest on, or just being silent and let the person beside me die of boredom. Gah, I get so stressful when I really have nothing to say. Seeing this poor worn out brain of mine can't seem to think up of something witty in a really really short time.

It's worse when you're with this boring one-word person. (Convo was made up, no relation to the dead or alive.)
Me: Hey! That was funnnn!
Person: Yeah.
Me: Which part was the nicest?
Person: Uhm Ferris wheel.
*silence*
Me: Did you brush your teeth?
Person: Yes.
Me: I use Darlie! It's the best I reckon.
Person: Oh ok.

That kind of conversations usually make me feel really really shitty. You get out of the train thinking the person has got bad impression on you, and I've probably said the stupidest thing in the course of my entire life. Sometimes I don't bother to talk at all to this kind of people. Or maybe, I might sometimes subconsiously become this type of one-word person. Boring.

That's why I like to make myself interesting. They say I'm funny, but they're laughing at me cause I'm lame. Suddenly being a clown seems like the nicest thing to do. It makes me really happy. In one day I could probably laugh a million times and smile a gazillion times. Why am I so generous with smiles and laughter? It's going to take a toll on my face, giving underage wrinkles. =( But heck, haha, having something to talk about is probably the best thing that could happen in a day.

And I hate boredom too. Who doesn't?
For me, when there's nothing to do, I'll have more time to think. And well, you know me, when I think too much I get too contemplative and it's going to make me kill myself or something.

=[

I read up on my horoscope.
Cancer has indefinable fears. Whoopdefuckingdo, that says a lot.