I think I forgot to add that I opened the door for Naoto and he smiled at me yesterday! Well you know, he's only an eye candy, nothing more.

Eye candies are really awesome. Cause they make you really happy and gay.
Unlike crushes. They make me stressed. Really.

I found this really interesting introduction I made back in June 08. Damn, it's so honest.

Last night my friend and I were discussing about how pathetic the world is generally. I've had racism thrown and me, and other shallow judgements, but that's okay. I was born to lose anyway.

AT YOUR FACE FUCKERS!

It suddenly dawned upon me that it is my job to introduce myself, and it's your job to get to know me before throwing cruel remarks.

First thing I'd say to anyone, I'm cruel. And that is true. I'm cruel because I am brutally honest. I am cruel when setting things right. I care about your happiness more than mine so don't cry when I bitch at you, sissy!

I grew up in an environment where parents whip you for the smallest reasons, and throw you down to the ground when you're just about to stand up. I was taught not to weep, because weeping is a sign of weakness. My mother called me useless, but it was only so I could grow up the way she wanted- strong, possessive and cruel. I don't like people crying, hell fuck off if you do. My methods are vile, I'll throw you down, kick your ass so you'd survive. Because that was the way I was brought up. "Struggle is nature's way of strengthening it," Locke said, and that's my way of doing things. I don't believe in tissue papers to wipe off your tears, git.

My sister says I'm arrogant and have the heart of stone. So what. I fight for my own opinions. I'd die fighting if I have to.

I take on different personas.

Sometimes I'm sweet and kind, sometimes I give hope to those who needs it, sometimes I turn into a grotesque depressed monster. It depends on my mood. Sometimes I can't give a fuck, I turn into anything I want.

I guess I don't know who I am. I don't exist, I'm not real. I might have lived in the 7th century and fought in epic battles, I might have been a dragon who spits out fireballs, and you don't know.

I am what I am for the things that were done to me. I don't feel 16, I feel older, much much older. Some of my friends think that I am wise. I don't know. Maybe I don't see things the way you do.

And I have to admit, I don't have any self-esteem. I don't know how to socialise. I am afraid of people. I've been my own man, my own army, my horse, my sword, my ship. I don't know what friendship is. If it means being friends for a year and then you don't give a fuck about me anymore, then thanks, that must be friendship.

And to conclude that, outside I look decent and nice, inside I'm whatever I can be, and deeper inside where I want you to really nose into my privacy, I'm not really sure and it's your job.

Well how about that.