The only reason I've been behaving like a selfish prick these days is because I'm hopelessly in love with you. My mood swings are horrible and you're amazing because you're the only person who can cope with that. I demand a lot, I know. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best to be as close to that for you. Hey, I'll smile, I'll behave, I'll put my bouts of moodiness aside. I will be Barbie for you. It was appalling when you told me today that I'm not sensitive enough because I am a controller. I've said this many times: just go out with whoever you want to. The most I can do is give you a weak smile. Love her, choose her, if that makes you happy. I know ages ago I said I wanted you to be happy, even if I'm not in the picture at the end of the day. It's still true now. I know I sulk and mope around a lot, but deep inside all I want is for you to be happy.

Of course after tearing up at Vivo, I felt like a huge disappointment. Like you buy something and then it doesn't perform up to your standard. I was nice at first, but when you opened me up raw, I'm actually rotten inside. I'm sorry you had to see me like this. I'm sorry I'm probably the most revolting person you have ever met. I completely understand why you fell out of love with me.

You're my star, you're the big hand that grabs my shoulder when I'm going the wrong way, and you make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. You're my soulmate.

Sigh.

Labels: depressing, letting go, loveee, sad