I should stop reading happy thoughts, seeing happy people, watching happy things. Let's face it, I'm not exactly a bundle a joy. If you think it's so easy to get better, maybe you could explain to me why I've been fucked up for 6 years.

I think my previous post caused quite a stir. 20 plus hits in one night? Holy shit. Did it actually shocked you how depressed I actually am? fucking shit.

Anyway.

Plan Recovery started yesterday. I'm trying my best. I really am.

So,

I probably did not mention this, but I have been sick. So what's the diagnosis? Unknown. I've been having frequent nosebleeds, and on tuesday before my thermofluids paper I vomitted out a lot of blood. Then I got so dizzy and couldn't stand still. And I still had a paper to sit for. Last night I was the last straw. I got scared shit so I went to see the doctor today.

No medication to help me, so they gave me a referral. Yeah, I have an appointment like in a month to get a wormy microscope stuck inside my nostrills. But, in the period from today to the appointment date, should I ever get another violent nosebleed, I need to get to the hospital asap.

Does that sound scary to you?

Because it does it me. Fever, migrain, nosebleed, puking and coughing out blood, headache...

Haha there's no reason to be happy. or positive.

Labels: i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sickly talk