It's 2 minutes to midnight (LOL sounds familiar) now, and I'm taking a break from all the maths and mechanics. I have no idea which break is this exactly because I've been taking an amazingly number of timeouts today. From lying down on my self-made couch in my room, staring listlessly at the ceiling, watching the fan blades go round as if it was interesting, to listening to whatever depressing songs I can get my ears to endure.

Still, I feel nothing.

Yesterday I studied the WHOLE freaking day. And today it seems I cannot remember anything. I wish I had more time. Now I am sorely tempted to bang my head against the wall repeatedly until I suffer a concussion and probably lose a lot of blood, and then proceed to fall into unconsciousness for a few days at least, so they will not let me take the exams and still hope to pass, amazingly.

I can no longer take any more information or numbers into my head.

So how am I doing?

No progress. If progress include spiralling into the black hole, well yeah maybe. Everyone is so busy studying. Everyone is so busy fucking his or her own lives. And I could use a hug or two, a conversation to distract me from myself.

I need you like I need fucking air.

‘You're just a sad song with nothing to say
About a life long wait for a hospital stay
And if you think that I'm wrong,
This never meant nothing to ya’

i can't believe I'm listening to my chemical romance.
this just shows how sad I am.

Labels: depressing, sad