Something happened to my favourite chair. I think it just died. Gah, now I'm using my sis' stupid chair which is probably one metre shorter. Depressing.

I don't know why, but I feel inclined to blog almost everyday. Nothing better to do muchly? Probably so. It's worse that there is actually nothing interesting to write about except the continuous droning of my monotonous life. I wish I was a kid. At least a trip to the playground could be something worth writing about.

My hand is itching to write. No, I won't let it. I don't want to write up new plots and new scenarios and end up not completing them thus making my life more depressing. Instead I took up a colour pencil and continued on my faery. For two hours, I drew some designs and coloured in a butterfly. I'm impressed with it. I wish I could work faster as I tend to stop after colouring one thing. I can't do more in a day. It's quality versus quantity. So I was doing my art while listening to Il Divo. I think one song made me sob and I sat there and stared at my work. I do love this, I love making art, colouring, drawing. I can love this more. Even without people looking at or appreciating what I've done. I can love this more. I need not do it for people. I don't have to respond when people ask me, 'so when are you putting anything new up?' Art is poetry. Without inspiration and vision, it's just rubbish. So there you go, my a-ha moment. No use stomping my feet and throwing fits or complaining that no one gives a shit about me. Truth is, no one gives a shit, and I can't do anything about it. If I love what I do, then nothing else matters.

And point taken, I'm not making any fucking sense.

Shush, no bad words now that Ramadhan is here. I kinda feel guilty for listening to rubbish music the whole night instead of going terawikh(sp?). I haven't been a religious person(apart from this tudung, no, there's actually nothing so religious about me.) I don't do anything extra, like solat sunat or anything, and I'm forced to ngaji(hahahaha.) Well, and another confession is that my parents forced me into the tudung when I was primary 5. Tak ikhlas initially, but I guess you get used to it. If you can't beat them, then join them. Haha, I guess I'm more okay right now. Religious muchly, I hope.

So Ramadhan resolution?
Be a better muslim? Like duh, everyone wishes that. Easier said than done, but I'll try. Try not to debate religion a bit. (Parents getting intorelant of my outspoken-ness already.)

And, Ramadhan is also a chance for an extreme diet. Like what I did last year. Will improve and work more to see better results. Haha.

Grahh, my middle finger hurts. I'm shitless about why it hurts. Probably a punishment from god. No middle finger= decrease in rude gestures. Won't work though, because I'm a fairly nice person, and middle finger is rarely in use. Damn it, could be the cheap shampoo that's doing funny things to my hands.

Falloutboy sucks.
Random thought.

My sister is insane. She went Ako Mustapha ga-ga. No really, I think she went into the i-love-boys mode. Ranging from some boy on friendster to Richard Gere. Yesterday she didn't want to watch 'Girl, Interrupted' because there were no hot men in it. Sheesh. Well, you know, girls in a single sex school are mostly desperate. (I swear I was never desperate, and am not still!) She came up with an impressive theory about why I've been feeling a certain way the past few days.

I guess it's true. You suddenly feel someone's treating you that way, because you have taken a slight interest in that someone. It's just normal, how that someone treats you. You wish it could've been more. And blah, blah, all that what she said. I can't remember. Ask the prof.

Haha. My heart lies with Johnny Depp. (WTH. Okay to dream right?)

I think my insomnia is coming back.
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Time to listen to lagu raya. I want to play bunga api.