Being the usual insecure, really fat, really ugly (now i must emphasise that if I wasn't fat, I wouldnt be ugly, because I was hot when I was thin a couple of years ago) self, my seeming uncontrollable jealousy makes me unproductive. Unproductive meaning moping about, browsing through many pictures of deceased she-male ex-es, then feel shitty about self that you completely forget about the homework and stupid meaningless report you have to do that night. It's worse when the object of affection seems caught up by pictures of the object of my envy. Because I feel more and more desolate and uncherished, until I'm left to rot in the cabbage patch and turn into food for the crows.

Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe I'm not that all lovable.
But when you poke on my fats I feel all happy again. I need a fat poker. Poke me poke me poke me!

Today I watched Body Of Lies with kelvin. It was beyond scary that I used my scarf to cover my face for most of the scenes. I think it breeds islamophobia, somehow. Watching that wasnt so comfortable with imbeciles sitting in front repeating phrases 'insyallah' as a joke then laughing at it. Seriously, that's not funny you moron. It also shows how ignorant america is towards human lives, using innocent people as bait. Shows how cruel jihadists are, and all the politics. But as kelvin said, the movie was shining the spotlight on america about how they cannot be trusted, how they use people for their own advantage and all that. It wasn't a complete waste, but I do not like the movie.

Fyp is such an idiot.

Labels: movie, sad, stupid obsessions