Some people think I'm infatuated with love. Love is the very core of my being. Love moves me, spurs me. I have loved and lost, because god wanted him more than I did. Lost my beacon of light, lost a companion, a friend, a lover, a father, a grandparent, a ray of hope. My love is motivated by loss. I can truly love someone that it makes me happy just to make them smile even if I just keep giving my entire life. It makes me content. It completes me.

Anyway I forgot what I wanted to write about so we'll leave my awkward ending to that.

Kelvin told me that people don't really like good people. People like bad people who think that they are good. And my greatgrandfather was a good man and I loved him so much, but he didn't get the respect that he deserved. And if you knew someone very well then you would know whether they're really good or not.

Anyway I don't get my point cause I've lost my blogging spirit.


ben's small hand curled around my finger. ben running in circles.