you dont care a bit. i put on this facade that i'm all happy for you but i'm not. i'm being all noble and kind. i'm not selfish. i let you go, i fucking did. because i would do everything to make you fucking happy even if i'm not in the picture at the end of the day.

i keep telling myself that i deserve to be heartbroken and ripped apart because i owe you so many things. you owe me nothing, you could go away anytime you want, you could disappear forever and not fucking care. what am i worth to you? just someone you could fucking pity, is that what I am?

all i'm asking is for you to tell me it's going to be okay, like you always did. when i needed someone to give a damn, you were there. how many times do i have to scream and beg for help. help me, fucking help me. grab my wrists and make me stop. i hate you, i hate you for loving her more than me.

i hate that your goodnights mean nothing anymore.

Labels: depressing, friends, sad