I don't exactly have a word to describe how I am feeling like now. It's just one of the days I hyperventilate or get panic attacks. It's getting harder and harder to breathe. I ate lots of dark chocolate to calm myself.

It is just those days where you get excited turning on the computer and realise there's actually nothing for you to do, but to keep refreshing pages over and over again. No one actually wants to talk to you on msn, everyone is too busy leading their own lives, not caring a fuck whether you're okay. That's just life I suppose. It doesn't wait for you. The universe certainly doesn't care.

I feel so pumped to run or do something exciting. Unfortunately it's been raining like nobody's business.

It's NOT like I have NOTHING to write about. I sure have stuffs to say about my reunion with some friends and the movie marathon with girlfriends. But the mood sure isn't there to be all perky and happy when you're so emotionally drained. All I want to do is to fall into a deep slumber and not wake up. I've been sucking everyone else's energy today. I really feel like a big black hole. It sure sucks like fucking hell that I'm feeling everyone else's emotions at the end of the day. Oh all the negative energy around me. I wasn't even like sad to begin with. I was all perky all day long. Sigh.

Talking about the no mood part, yes I do owe Adam a detailed email. I love that boy so much and it sucks that I can't even bring myself to write a simple letter or send a card. Just thought it's been a while since we had a proper conversation on msn.

Meh.

Labels: depressing, i'm sorry i can't be fucked, sad, sickly talk, whatever