And so it is.

I bet people would be writing up posts about the end of fasting month, about the rendang and ketupat and green packets.

I haven't made the best out of this Ramadhan. In fact, I haven't done a single terawih prayer. All I did was to keep wishing and wishing some miracle would happen. And I can't even fast on the last week of the fasting month. You know, Ramadhan is like the weeks before Christmas, when you pull out your pen and paper, formulate a wishlist, because it's the month you might get something out of your wishlist. You know, and you like list all this things you need help in acheiving in Ramadhan, because it's the time when the angels roam here and there and pray for you, and it's the month where most of your prayers would come true. I did pray for a lot of things, but I haven't done enough. I mean, my mother wakes up at like 4 in the morning to do her prayers, read the Koran and never miss a night of terawih. What is that compared to me, this really oily faced, depressed and lazy girl? I should have made the best out of Ramadhan, since it only comes once a year. And this month was the most depressing for me, because of my mother and everything. I hope God forgives me and help me survive. I'm tired of being sad, I'm so tired of being pissed off at my mother and I'm so tired of the moody brooding Rafhana. Hopefully the next Ramadhan I would be happier, thinner and un-lazy.

Oh well, school today. My family is going off to Johore at 2pm today, so I am skipping maths tutorial! Or maybe I should skip the whole day? I would be so happy and gay if that happens!

I almost cried thinking about Faye today. I wonder if she knows about this blog.

To Jasmine: So sorry I can't say anything. Sometimes I think if I shut up it's so much better you know? One thing I learnt about this is that if you keep it bottled up inside, the process is going to take much much longer. But you know, this whole thing is going to make you much stronger. It's going to take time, so take as much time as you need. So take heart Jas, it will soon be over. *hugs*

Labels: sad