Here lies my review on Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. It's a little mediocre.

http://www.helium.com/tm/480744/harry-potter-order-phoenix

Labels: harry potter, movie, movie review

It is appalling to see shallow people roaming about. You think with your Fat Joe hanging around and your artificially coloured hair makes you oh so great. Tell you what, you are one fuckhead. I have the right to read a fucking book anywhere I like. And just because I wear the tudung and have tanned skin, it doesn't mean that I am so melayu. You disgust me, screaming and attracting attention like that. I am not sorry that you do not interest or humour me. Why don't you pick on some minah who has a bag slung in between her breasts and has artificially coloured hair just like you. Not me. You have no right to pick on me because I'm more intellectually capable.

Shithead.

My parents taught me right. My mother taught me how to carry myself. And I am more intellectually and emotionally superior. I am filled with arrogance, so there is no fucking way I'd even look at you. I'd rather marry a book.


(I know I owe you guys a picture post!)

Labels: annoying, bitching

I know you're fucking (dying) to read about the days of my life (haha *snorts*). Okay I'm busy and important right now. The shitty week has passed, I'm going to fail my maths test for sure, and I am revamping my room. It's red baby. I have a lot of pictures to post. Okay well, it's been a hell of a week with a million things that happened.

I have presents! Yay!

Okay, will be back. I need to play with my new present. (No, I did not get a vibrator.)

I'm EIGHTEEN! YAYYYYYY.

Labels: eighteen, i'm sorry i can't be fucked

Hello me.

In a few hours, you will turn eighteen. Wow, can't believe it. Well done, you. You've made it this far. Thank you for having the guts to live. Thank you for hoping for something spectacular to happen. You know how it was, 2 years ago, wanting to die? Remember how it felt like you couldn't be anything more but an emotional fuckwit and a disaster? Remember this friend who told you that you could be so much more if you lived, and what a waste if you died then? Oh my god, eighteen. It's scary isn't it. No claiming of medical bills, no restrictions to buy dangerous lung killers, and wow, the dream of becoming a porn star is indeed possible. Hah, when you were 16 you were whining about not being 18 because you weren't old enough to be a porn star. How cute. Damn Ana, you were hilarious.

Oh my god, how old you have become. You remember that when you knew Adam he was eighteen? And now you're going to be eighteen! What haven't you done Ana? Well for one, not having someone who weren't in primary school to like you, being emotionally close to someone, and dancing in the rain. Thank you for not having sex and thank you for being a tad closer to marrying Gerry Butler.

My dear Ana, look how far you've journeyed. Thank you God, thank you for letting her live. I love you God, I love you Ana, for having the guts to live.

Thank you for all the friends you have made. For the friends you have lost along the way. For the mother you learnt to care for, for the father you learnt to laugh at. Thank you for being mature, thank you for battling bulimia. And thank you for being fat.

Thank you for falling in love with dirty pirates and sexy Spartans. Thank you for being an artist, and a poet.

Thank you god, for the talents I possess, for the gratitude I have for people who I have learned from, for the empathy I have for people who do not have the things that I have.

Happy Birthday me. Happy Birthday.

Labels: birthday

Right. I know no one cares about me right now, and my tagboard has been like inactive, and I've been very lazy/possibly busy, and so is everyone else. Maybe it's just karma. I am a very bad person.

Tomorrow I have been forced to attend this family gathering in Malacca, despite my futile attempts to escape by telling my parents that I want to REALLY REALLY study Accounting. I'm not keen about it, and I try to be optimistic (NOT!), so you know, we see how it goes. I hate awkward moments, and I get to see the YAYA sisterhood who would absolutely be so Malaysian about everything, and yeah, my mum has taken pity on two little devil children, so they will be riding in the back of the car. Sigh. This means having to charge my mp4 so I could blast to 400decibels for two whole days. And adult talks about whatever shit, and stuff. Korean drama talks, blah, blah blah. It's so predictable, it's almost impossible to hope for something spectacular.

I'm going to be like mean and snobbish, because karma isn't working as planned. Even if I was good, I get shat at by a bird. Maybe being bad would bring me something good, like gold.

I hope the gold aliens abduct me and give me gold teeth. I like gold teeth. I'd like a gold tooth.

This year I probably won't get any birthday presents. =[

Labels: annoying, i'm sorry i can't be fucked

Hello children.

If you haven't panicked yet, shame on you. Dear kind people. My birthday is on the 19th of July. It's really terrifying, you know, knowing that you're going to be 18. It's like suddenly the need to become responsible creeps in. Like stepping up to the plate. I can't go, 'I'm only seventeen!' Eighteen sounds old. I feel the decay in my body.

I wonder how we get to this, from being clean and fresh and innocent wrapped in sheets of towels with tags around our ankles, brand new. I wish I was a baby. Growing up is scary. Like the first time we get to kindergarten, and figuring out how to make friends- I don't think I ever learnt that. And like the first time we get to put on little school uniforms and parents forcing you to stand still so they could take a picture of the start of your nerdy hellhole life, and how people are talking about attachment at the end of year 2 - it's scary. I wish I didn't have the right to wear home clothes to school. I wish I was this little happy kid I wish I was, just ignorant and innocent. And be like 5 years old everyday, every year, a lifetime. That's like a powerpuff girl. I'd trade my life to be a powerpuff.

Labels: growing up

People who eat beef are bad. Beef is bad for you, you bad bad man. Save the cows! They have nice skin and they taste yucky, but they are good animals.

You shall not eat lamb either. It's cruel. Lamb and veal, and the baby mammals, you sick people! And no mutton. Goats are way too beautiful to be consumed. They don't taste nice either.

And you shall not eat pork. This is not the muslim thing, really. Did you know, according to research, pork has the most bacteria, compared to other meat. (I saw brainiacs yesterday, it was disgusting.) So why do you eat pork? Do you like bacteria?

Do not eat salmon or endangered fish. By 2048, there would be no more seafood in the world. And tuna is bad for you. Too much of it gives you mercury poisoning. Fish is bad. It makes you clever, but it's bad because it's smelly and very fishy.

Chicken is bad, because they've been injected with the botox thing that makes them fat. Chicken is so so bad. (But it tastes so so good when it doesn't taste like chicken.) But it makes you fat.

Vegetables doesn't taste nice. And green things replenish the Earth and gets rid of Carbon Dioxide. So you shouldn't eat them either. It's not very nice to eat things that doesn't want to die. (Unless it's corn. Because Mort Rainey planted them on his wife's body, so he needs to get rid of evidence, so we have to eat them. And maybe potatoes and onions can be eaten, because they grow underground.)

Fresh fruit isn't nice to eat either. Because they belong to the tree, and we mustn't steal from trees, unless you ask for the tree's permission. And that's only possible if you speak tree-ish.

So what can we eat?

We can eat fruits that have fallen from the ground, at their own request, i.e when they've rotted. We can eat corn, onions and potatoes. We can eat salt. And we can eat ants too- because they're not very nice people.

Labels: animal rights, food