What the hell happened to me?

I'm bored. Life is so boring right now that I can't get shit out of my head. I want to run away and fucking do things I would never do. I want to become someone else.

I hate being RAFHANA (Xtine, you have inspired me to blog about this, I hope you forgive me. I'm a copycat, but coincidentally it has been running wildly in my head for the past weeks, and realised I have not mentioned it. i think.) Rafhana is so boring. Rafhana doesn't have a bestfriend. Rafhana isn't rich enough to do anything exciting. Rafhana is a pushover, rafhana is unpopular, rafhana is always afraid, rafhana SUCKS.

I want to change my name to Aisling. If not, at least my child will have that name.
I'm going to have 7 kids. 4 boys and 3 girls. Liam, Cormack, -haven't decided-, -haven't decided-, Brena, Aisling(if my name isn't Aisling by then, and I think so too because my parents would disown me if my name was Aisling. Haha.), Megara.
And then they are going to call me Oma or however the korean word for 'mom' is spelt in romanised version, and call their father Alda. I want a whole rounded family, Irish names, Welsh, Greek and Elvish. Alda is father is elvish. Now I think I'm spouting nonsense, so I shall stop here.

I want to do something extraordinary. I want to complete my 'to-do list before I turn twenty'. I want to have friends, I want to be able to say HI to everyone I see because I KNOW them. I want a bestfriend. The last time I had a BESTFRIEND and the ONLY bestfriend was when I was 8 and she was the awesomest friend ever but she changed school and I don't know her whereabouts since. I WANT TO KILL BOREDOM AND DESPAIR. Do you know how fucking tired it is to HATE yourself your whole bloody life?

I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired.

I want to be able to agree with XTINE that I don't look so ugly afterall. I want to be able to agree with anyone who says I'm smart/an asshole/whatever. Modesty and humility is good, but too much will kill you, like how it has killed me.

I hate being cooped up at home because no one will go out with me.
BLAH! 2 weeks to my 3 week holiday and I want to go somewhere.






*sulks*