God, everyone else's blog seems to be really interesting and happy. Can I just fucking lie and pretend to be Barbie with numerous 'lol's after every sentance? It seems easy. Not for me though. I tend to be brutally honest about my life. It's like a cry for help but I don't want attention or help. I want to be mangled in the fucking mud. I don't like to pretend in blogs and journals that I'm in perfect condition, comfortable about my weight and my face.

I hate people telling me that I look okay, and 'not-so-fat'. Fucking shut up, because you don't have to please me. I am fat, and I hate my fucking body. Indeed, my view of perfection is distorted, and I don't see what you see in the mirror.

I'm not telling the complete truth here. I hate a lot of things. The world is fucked up.

I think I need to be nice.

Probably I'll post later in a seperate entry, a totally and completely new Ana, the fake one of course, missing the details.

So long.