Hey you know what, tommorow I have a paper and I still haven't touched anything. Instead, I'm going through travel guides. I want to travel and be free, get a perspective of things from different worlds. There's so much out there, and you can't give an opinion until you have seen everything. I'd love to live simply, by the sea, writing or making art, getting inspired. I don't know why I'm in school. I've never been interested in school- all I wanted to do when I was little was to sing and obviously, no one is going to hear me, so might as well throw away that childhood dream. For me, school is like a soft spot to fall on. If I don't become a writer, I have a diploma (HOPEFULLY!) to fall on. If I don't succeed in my business, I have a job to fall on. I'm not even doing what I want. I don't even like what I'm doing. If I had a choice, I would have gone to a fashion school or an art school, or an acting school. I want to be free and to express myself. God, this forbidding house is not a great place to be inspired. You know, I want to make some cash for myself so I can travel far and wide, maybe on a ship and never stop. I want to go to space, get burnt by a star, go to the moon. Or swim deep underwater as deep as I can get and find lochness. I want to do all that. I can't wait to do all that.

I know I will do all that. I'd publish something, I'd even sell a first art piece, I'd travel, I'd open a shop, I would be happy. I will not ever let negative influences stop me from doing what I want to do. Why do I whine instead of doing something, making something burst to life and sparkle? I don't have to listen to you, I don't even need you to tell me I am beautiful.

Jack said to me once (referring to James Earl Jones who made the voice of darthVader) "you'll probably be something like that, cut off for long time then very extroverted and popular."
I think he is the only person who doesn't even know much about me and yet he is so sincere and true, and he believes so much in me. And he also calls me a gropping bastard as I call myself, reads my poetry, comments on my art, inspires me.

Haha oh well, I should do a little bit of praying now. Farewell.