OH YEAH RIGHT. RIGHTTT JUST BECAUSE I WAS FROM FUCKING CEDAR, I SHOULD GET As FOR EVERYTHING.

ENGINEERING ISN'T MY FORTE, IT WASN'T MY FUCKING INTEREST. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER. I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ENGINEER.

YOU DON'T GET IT, MUM AND DAD.
I'M NOT SMART, I'M NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD IN MATHS, MY LIFE DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND STUDYING. I HATE STUDYING. I HATE SCHOOL. I HATE YOU FOR EXPECTING SO MUCH OF ME. I AM JUST GODDAMN USELESS, I'LL NEVER BE GOOD AT ANYTHING, AND IF I'VE ACCEPTED IT, WHY CAN YOU NOT?

YOU'RE NOT A DOCTOR OR SOME HOTSHOT ENGINEER! I'M JUST LIKE YOU! I'M AVERAGE, I'M ORDINARY, I'M A GODDAMN ORDINARY FUCKING Bs AND Cs! DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE SOME GENIUS WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE NOT! I CAN'T DO THIS! I CAN'T!

WHY CAN'T YOU BE HAPPY? WHY CAN'T YOU CONSOLE ME? I FEEL BAD FOR GETTING SUCH A GPA! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE IT WORSE? 'OH, WHY Bs AND Cs? WHERE ARE ALL THE As?!!!' YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE BEEN ASKING THE SAME THING. I THOUGHT I COULD GET AN A, BUT I DIDN'T! WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE OTHER PARENTS? WHY CAN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE, 'TRY HARDER NEXT TIME,'? I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE IT SO HARD BECAUSE I ALREADY BEAT MYSELF EVERYTIME ABOUT EVERYTHING! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO NEGATIVE? YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S OKAY, SAVE THE FUCKING NAGGING, BECAUSE I LOOK DOWN UPON MYSELF ALREADY. LIKE THAT ISN'T ENOUGH.

SO WHAT, JUST BECAUSE THIS IS POLY I CAN BE THE BIGGER FISH IN THE SMALL POND? SO I MUST REDEEM MYSELF WITH As BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET INTO A JC, AND HENCE DESTROYED THE FAMILY NAME? YOU DON'T GET IT DO YOU? I WAS THE LAST IN CEDAR BACK THEN, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THEY'VE ALL BETTER L1R5 THAN ME! I'M ORDINARY! I'M AVERAGE!
AND I CAN'T DO THIS!
I CAN'T!

Labels: i'm sorry i can't be fucked, school