Hey you know what, tommorow I have a paper and I still haven't touched anything. Instead, I'm going through travel guides. I want to travel and be free, get a perspective of things from different worlds. There's so much out there, and you can't give an opinion until you have seen everything. I'd love to live simply, by the sea, writing or making art, getting inspired. I don't know why I'm in school. I've never been interested in school- all I wanted to do when I was little was to sing and obviously, no one is going to hear me, so might as well throw away that childhood dream. For me, school is like a soft spot to fall on. If I don't become a writer, I have a diploma (HOPEFULLY!) to fall on. If I don't succeed in my business, I have a job to fall on. I'm not even doing what I want. I don't even like what I'm doing. If I had a choice, I would have gone to a fashion school or an art school, or an acting school. I want to be free and to express myself. God, this forbidding house is not a great place to be inspired. You know, I want to make some cash for myself so I can travel far and wide, maybe on a ship and never stop. I want to go to space, get burnt by a star, go to the moon. Or swim deep underwater as deep as I can get and find lochness. I want to do all that. I can't wait to do all that.

I know I will do all that. I'd publish something, I'd even sell a first art piece, I'd travel, I'd open a shop, I would be happy. I will not ever let negative influences stop me from doing what I want to do. Why do I whine instead of doing something, making something burst to life and sparkle? I don't have to listen to you, I don't even need you to tell me I am beautiful.

Jack said to me once (referring to James Earl Jones who made the voice of darthVader) "you'll probably be something like that, cut off for long time then very extroverted and popular."
I think he is the only person who doesn't even know much about me and yet he is so sincere and true, and he believes so much in me. And he also calls me a gropping bastard as I call myself, reads my poetry, comments on my art, inspires me.

Haha oh well, I should do a little bit of praying now. Farewell.


I have been spending more time in front of the teevee and away from school in the past few days. Discovery Travel & Living is currently in my toplist of preferred channels, followed by StarWorld, Discovery, National Geographic, and so on, Playhouse Disney being last. And yes, haven't you figured out that I am indeed a NERD.

I don't feel like blogging anymore, I mean come on, I'm out of shitty things to talk about. And NO ONE reads my posts.

Ah anyway, I've been spending time surfing bebo.com, the 'soul devouring world' as Adam describes it. I have 3 friends (HA!) there, no pictures, no complete profile. But it's amazing what you'll find over there. They have these bands that are so fun to explore and discover some treasures, like - http://wearefuturo.bebo.com and other amazing acoustic artists. Why I prefer Bebo over myspace because finding goodstuff on myspace is like finding a needle in a haystack, and not to mention the anorexic children befriending me and thanking me for being a fucking disease. (Why, Thank You ladies! I like taking credit for anorexia, she must be really proud! Thank you for the thinspiration too, I really like them.), and the malaysian mamats who added me and messaged me because I had a picture of my collarbone (WAYYY back when I was thin. Long story.) posted and they must've confused my intention (Breasts?) HAHA LOL. Uh, don't even mention friendster- the reason I have an account because all my friends seem to have it, and the whole of singapore children seem to have it, so it's convenient to find a sex partner/ friend.

I've been missing a lot of sites lately. Like Juliet's site, explosm.net, awesomebale.net, knitty.com, councilofelrond... I seem to be visting Craftster or Blogger or Barry Pepper's page whenever I'm online. And I've been deserting my writing and drawing and all that. And I'm not going to study because studying makes me more stupid, so I rely on my self-made rubber dice and my quick brain. I don't want to fail Electronics because I don't want to give up CIB as I am hopelessly in love with it and I happen to be brilliant in economics *snigger*.

By the way, Macdonalds Prosperity Meal (it's chicken, because I don't eat beef. Because it's cruel to eat cows because they're too cute to be killed. I however use leather because it'd be such a waste for the murdered cow to go unused. HAHA WTF.) is very very spicy and hot and unexpected. I hated it and almost cried finishing it. And by the way also, this happens to be my last unhealthy meal cause I'm going to be 20 kgs lighter when school reopens next semester. Lol.

Ana R, signing off, the 'Fat Life of Ana Rosli (Season 6)'.
Goodnight people who don't read my posts.


Another of Barry Pepper.


Okay well, I don't know what to blog about besides my flu that's been hovering over me and made me deaf for more than a week, Michael making it to project runaway 3's fashion show (I LOVE RE-RUNS cause I don't watch stuff on channel 5 haha!), my horrible flu- eh okay I said that already, my depressing vocabulary (using 'depressing' is a lot more depressing, gah!), Barry Pepper, and did I mention Barry Pepper?

Okay, bye, you're ugly.
Have a nice day!


Watch this. Those things that I never get tired of. HAHAHA.





What have i made, do do do do do...


go to my craft blog! I'm proud of my polka dot one!

I'm sick. BLAH. I went to school for like 15 minutes for a presentation and went home cause I had a coughing fit and cared so much for my classmates that they not get my disease too. I've been sick since Thursday. My nose has been stuck with icky stuff since.


Currently the script to my life is 'fuck' and 'shit'. No, I really don't say much these days. Just like Mike Norton, in a bad way.

I'm fucking sick. I'm down with flu, and I think I exhausted my throat too much that I had to spit some gooey blood out. I have a bloody presentation tommorow and my voice sounds like shit. Fuck it.

Anyway, I watched Three Burials Of Melquiades Estrada yesterday, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Barry Pepper. Hey, two of my favourite actors in one movie, that's gotta be worth something. Barry Pepper played Mike Norton, a sexist , and Tommy played Pete. I actually liked (a bit of loved) the film. The scenery was spectacular. The first part of the movie, you have to pay attention, because it was in bits and pieces so you have to figure out which comes first. It also potrays the relationship between Pete and Melquiades (a Mexican cowboy). This movie is about friendship and loyalty. Mel was killed, and Pete wanted to bring his body back to Mexico, taking Mike as captive because Mike killed his friend.

Barry Pepper did well playing his character. I had a great time laughing at him. He was quite a jerk in the beginning, so it was funny seeing he get his retribution from Pete. All he says is 'FUCK!!!' 'SHIT!'. Really, go watch it. Barry was fun. I was laughing at him the whole time. I know it's not nice to laugh at him when he was bitten by a rattle snake, but man, it was hilarious. Mike Norton went through a life changing journey while heading for Mexico with Pete and the dead guy. The part where he realises humanity within himself moved me.

There was this part where Mike fucks his wife which was really funny, in a disturbing sort of way. His eyes turned white, like he was possessed. Weird. And there was also this funny scene where he was masturbating to a porn magazine and he suddenly heard a shot towards him. So he ran to his car trying to keep his pants up. Haha, classic. Mike Norton actually reminded me of a friend I had, once. (Mr sex and cum, if you recall.)

Well worth my 48dollars and being the most expensive DVD in my collection ever.


FUCK YOU BITCH!


I go home straight after school, switch on my laptop, go to lack-of-suprise.com/pepper and straight to the image gallery. I go on for hours and finally collapse in a heap of dust and saliva. Yeah, that's pretty much how I live.

I live on other people because I have no one more real to live on.

I went to HMV today and I spent 70 bucks there alone. $48 on 'The three burials of Escada'-guy and the rest on 'We were soldiers'. I went to MJ before that to purchase the 60th D-Day Anniversary Saving Private Ryan. So that means, I have TWO SPRs at home, a vcd, and the oh so special dvd. I was so depressed and heartbroken to find that HMV didn't sell The Snow Walker (which is an incredible movie, so I've heard. And it had a scene where Barry put his hands on his *ahem* in the lake.) or 61*, or Knockaround Guys, or 25th Hour. I found Battlefield Earth though, which costs a whooping 38 dollars and from what I've heard, the movie is a disaster. But oh, Barry makes everything interesting. I may have to think for a very very long time.

So I'm out of money again! I overspent and I've touched my bank savings. I'm still in debt with my sister. Ah, I'm god damn broke. Like poor. Like that.

And I've been planning to have a craft fair during the holidays and also take dressmaking courses. Now I went to ruin it by being broke.

I always tell myself, 'Buy something you need, not something you want.' So I get along quite well with my tiny wardrobe and recurring tops and pants. You see, I'm quite peculiar. I DON'T need shoes, clothes, or food. These are called 'wants'. But Barry Pepper and Johnny Depp and Jung Woo Sung is a NEED. Obviously Barry is the biggest of need right now. I'm back to being a 14 year old, craving on older men. I really like older men. Older caucasian or korean man, that is.

I'd better run along now. I want to watch Enemy of the State again.
(Haha, I borrowed Enemy of the State from the school library and watched it there and was silently pleased and smiling rather widely to myself. Hehe. I wanted to point and tell people, 'Hey! That is Barry Pepper! Isn't he amazing?'

LOL, I am insane. Better stop this, and bring back top quality posts to my blog.

Au revoir.


I'm obssessed that it's not even funny. I even feel like dying because I can't contain my happiness/sorrowfulness/whatever. I fell in love with gorgeous Barry Pepper while watching Flags of our Fathers. And then now that I watched Saving Private Ryan(I'm so outdated, i know. I wished I had known him earlier.) I am so engrossed in anything Barry Pepper. He is the cool sniper guy. Private Daniel Jackson, oooh. Oh damn, I love anything about him. What attracted me was his hand signals. Oh so sexy.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
OMFG, I LOVE BARRY PEPPER.

I want to move to Canada. At least my chances of seeing him in the street is better. Okay so what I need to do now is- make money, fly to Canada, and stay there for good.

I've got to stop on my Johnny Depp collection. I need a Barry Pepper one, or I'll die. It's not fun you know, liking someone this much. Some of his movies can't be found here like 61, The Snow Walker, Unknown. Or maybe I haven't ventured out enough. Blah blah blah! I need to find and buy them.

I'm not even so keen on studying, or crafting.
All I need is loveeeeee! Dodododo... All I need is loveeee! And Barry Pepper.

Hahahaha. I like this entry.


Hey asshole,

Look as us now. I knew from the very start this wasn't going to work. God damn it, I'm so relived, you know. From all the fucking friendships I've had that have failed, I've always blamed myself for it. Not this time, honey. I fucking blame you, asshole. Why do you need to ask what's wrong with the people around you that they leave you? Haha, easy. You gossip too much that it makes me sick to the stomach. I really can't be fucking bothered to argue with you anymore. Hey, I probably wouldn't tell this to your face because I really can't deal with it if you kill yourself.

You have never listened to me. Maybe I thought we could click. For like what, 3 years? All over now, asshole. We're done.

FYI, I wasn't being a fucking bitch. You were always fucking bitch who misunderstands everything and have a go at me. You can't expect me to be there online for you 24/7. I have my fucking school. Hey, doesn't mean you have a holiday, I need to have one too right?

For the past years I've learnt that though we came from similar backgrounds, you have never changed. We discussed about how battling with life makes us mature. Hah, you're still here. You're still the way you were 3 years ago.

Fool.

Our 'break-up' didn't really tear me apart. I was a little hurt by your misunderstanding, making me look like an awful bitch.

Honestly, I fancied Barry Pepper more than you, so it was okay. You're now a part of the pile of past back in my head. Time for a new life, new friends. I'm finally free, Lisa.

- Ana


There are not enough Barry Pepper s to go around in the world.




I LOVE BARRY PEPPER>JOHNNY DEPP>CHRISTIAN BALE>DANIEL HENNEY.
(gosh, for fucks sakes, '>' means 'more than'. so guess who I love most?)
BARRY PEPPER!

I was incredibly depressed when his character was killed off in Flags of our fathers and Saving Private Ryan.

I've been bickering about him non-stop. Ahhhhhh.





Finally, it's so uncommon to love Mr Pepper.

Lol, yes, Barry is so important that's why I made a post about him.

*swoon*


I was proscrastinating a lot this morning. I went to cut up pieces for a top, watched Discovery, ignoring the fact that I had a presentation later on at 3 and I hadn't done anything yet, not even going through my script. So it hit to me when my brand new sewing machine had some screw ups and I didn't know how to fix it, thus couldn't shorten the pants I wanted to wear for the presentation. There I was, struggling to finish a powerpoint, while hemming my pants, while watching tv, while rehearsing my script, just 30 minutes before 2pm, when I was supposed to get out of the house. So it turned out okay... I had this black blazer on that suffocated me and my lucky white high heels. (The GYL one, tehehehe.)

I walked to the station and thought, 'wow, nothing bad happened to me.' I was actually confident and happy that nothing bad happened to me while on the way to the station- considering bad things ALWAYS happen to me every day. (Like on one occassion I stepped on an algae swamp and slipped and got my slippers and pants dirty. Another occassion I got bird poo all over my tudung.) And guess what?

I reached the station, and realised my bag was incredibly light. Looked, gropped, searched, and NO WALLET. For fucks sakes, my feet were hurting and I'm sweating like mad because the blazer was killing me, and I don't have a fucking wallet. So I walked all the way back home (My house is pretty far from the station), decided against wearing my blazer, put on some dodgy shirt and wore slippers (high heels in my bag). I wasted $10.80 on the fucking cab.

So much for 'no bad things happened to me' day eh?

So presentation time... It was nerve wrecking, but good. I was amazed by my amazing memory. Haha.

"Firstly, can I ask you what do you find annyoing?"

*silence, crickets start chirping*

"Okay, fine. I'll answer my own question. Ah yes, singlish, and well, fat people on the loose, such as I."

No one got the joke, anyway. haha. No, well a moment later there were chuckles.
My presentation was quite crappy, but hell, people laughed, so it was alright for me. They clapped hard enough to make me happy lol.

Tehehehe. I'm so glad it's over. Next stop: Ideas Presentation.

I haven't updated for days, and I've got so many issues and dimwitted stuff to blog about. But hey, no one wants to read an entry with excessive details squashed together.

Aufurdesien. (haha heidi klum and my sister says that alot. i'm just giving it a try. and no, i don't know how to spell it.)






Let's face it. I am a lonely bugger.
I eat too much, I am FAT and obnoxious, I am really ugly.
I watch movies alone, I shop alone, I spend my days alone.
No, it's not like I hate being alone.
But it gets too cold sometimes, you know?

Ah, I think it's because I'm fat, and I have such an unpleasant personality. Your loss, anyway, for not giving a fuck about me.

Oh god, I'm a pathetic arsehole.

At least Bridget Jones has Mark Darcy. And Sam-soon has two men fighting over her.

Let's face it. I am in complete ruin. I'd die an old spinster in my house filled with cats and mouldy breadcrumbs.


Well at least, I get to stare at Daniel Henney.


Okay so I thought I would update later. But seeing that my little cousins dropped by and my laptop is on mc(because I told it to take leave) and my other cousin is coming tommorow, it seems that I would find no other time to update than now.

Mum was being all Santa Claus-y just now. A little too late, but it's okay. SHE BOUGHT A SEWING MACHINE because I've been begging her for months. WOOHOOO! I'm one happy shit today. It'll come in 3 days time, I can hardly wait! HEHEHELALAHOHOMEOW! MEOWLEOWMEOWWOLFWOOFBEEKBEKK! And she got me a plastic bag(HAHA! LOL!). She also bought a blender, and those seal machines. COOL. We have cool gadgets now. Btw, mum got the old Singer kind of machine which is what I've always wanted. How antique. Our current one is the thousands of dollars worth and can do embroidery and what not, which is also cool, but it has aids. The bobbin has gone all wonky and stuff and the tension is never right. So WHEEE, I have a new sewing machine! LALALAAA!

Okay ehm, I must control myself.

I FINISHED A SHAWL. OMGZ CAN YOU BELIEVE IT XXX*&%4#!
I went on a knitting frenzy for the past few days, and to this date(from last monday), finished knitting 3 scarves and a shawl. Well, I haven't crochetted in the fringes yet, but oh well. I consider the shawl finished. OMG ANUAR ZAIN IS ON. SHIT. WAIT, BRB.

Wheeee! Okay I'm back and very much delighted.

So last night I wrote down my new years resolution, one of it is to lose weight so I won't die of obesity, and second resolution, not to die of ovian/breast/eye/lung/arse cancer, and many others. I wrote up till 17 and I couldn't continue. I didn't know what else to write than 'Make money' 13 times. Haha.

I aim to visit Adam by next year. Must. Impt. Achtung. Attenzione.

Blah blah blah! La! La! LAAA!

I'm so fucking bored. I'll go and see what annoying cartoons there are on teevee.